How was my skiing adventure? Well, it was an adventure.
What a day I had! If I never saw a pair of skis again, it would be too soon.
What happened? It is a long story. Okay, I will start from the beginning. We arrived at the hill, my brother and I, and everything was fine. The sun was shinning, and it wasn’t cold. You could call it a perfect day. So, we went inside the chalet to rent some equipment. We ended up standing in a rental line for 37 minutes. You can image how impatient I was by the time I got my equipment. I ended up with these ugly gray skis and boots from the 1970s that looked pathetic compared to my brothers beautiful Salomon skis and Technica boots. Anyway we got on the lift and went up the beginner hill, or the "baby hill" as those expert skiers call it. I made it off the lift without falling, which was a huge accomplishment with wood logs strapped to my feet. So, we push ourselves to the top of the hill and my brother says, "all you have to do is form a pizza wedge, and then you have to turn. That's it." Now, the pizza wedge or the snow plow, as the experts call it, is very uncomfortable! So, I’m standing at the top of the hill in my 70s specials, in this pizza wedge, and my brother says "try doing a turn" before he skates down the hill. So graceful.
Okay, how hard can it be? Let me tell you. Hard.
So I push myself forward, still in my pizza wedge, and I'm moving, and the snow is fast, and I am approaching the side of the run. Then, I'm at the forest and right in front of the tress. I’m going to hit a tree. I am going to hit a tree!! My brother is yelling "turn", but I can’t. I can’t turn! So, I fall to the hard, cold ground with a big, loud thump. Meanwhile, as I was trying to regain my pride, there were little four year-olds zipping by me. And I realize - if a four year old can do it, I can do it. So, after a few attempts at standing, I brush myself off and decide turning is for losers.
And I go straight down the hill. I gain so much speed. A wiz past my brother. I feel great for a split second.
Speed can be a negative thing when it comes to being out of control. Thankfully, the Ski Patrol was a pleasant, soft, landing pad. What followed? A long, boring lesson on the Skier’s Responsibility Code. Because I was perceived as "giving attitude" the Ski Patrol took away my lift ticket. Sixty bucks down the drain. I don’t understand what the big problem was. I mean, don’t these things happen all of the time? Anyway, I didn’t like skiing. That one run was enough for me. Skiing is a very dangerous sport, and I think that I will stick to watching it on television, instead of actually, physically participating. I don't want to risk it - leave it to the professionals.
My brother? Oh he took off to the expert runs when he saw I was with the Ski Patrol person. He also ended up taking the bus home.
Originally published Scenes for High School Drama Students January 1997
Updated July 2018